Start With The End In Mind

“Every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end.” Seneca.

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A favourite coaching maxim, “starting with the end in mind” is a sound approach to getting as much direction and clarity as possible when we start our adventure. No, I don’t mean start with the last piece of cake first, or have an argument now in case you have one later, although that cake does look good…

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“One down, 7 to go!”

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“Just Do it Dad…”

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I went shopping last weekend. I wanted to get some brogue shoes. I wanted some expensive, snappy looking shoes. A friend had mentioned a certain brand and uttered these deadly words; “these English hand made shoes are considered the best.” Damn him. In my mind I had to have these shoes, but why so? I hadn’t even seen them, or any others for that matter.

So I shopped around until I finally came to the store in question. There they were. Nearly £250/$350. They were beautiful. Exquisitely made, perfectly balanced, heavy, a lifetime of shoe right there. I asked for a size 12 but they only went up to 11 so I left the shop. Then I remember my friend saying; “They come up big, you’ll need an 11.” I stopped in the middle of the shopping centre and looked at my wife and looked at my son. “Isn’t this a bit indulgent?” I asked, in reality asking for permission. My wife reminded me I’d not spent any money on my wardrobe since Mammoths died out and my son added “Just do it”.

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I went back in the shop and ordered the 11. It was and is the most comfortable beautiful shoe I’ve ever worn. When I put on those size 11s, a number of factors came together.

I wanted to look smarter, I wanted to value myself more, I wanted to feel something new in myself, I wanted to appeal differently to others. The shoes represented a shift in my image and who I thought I was. They were crafted, designed and deliberate.

More than an item, they were the “end” I had in mind. I had to have them when my friend mentioned them because of their QUALITY. They possessed the attribute I wanted to embody.

Goals are curious. Visions are curious too. We aim towards something and create a whole from a bunch of information. We are trying to craft something through routine, ritual, practice. We are looking to bring newness into our lives, the “field” that we experience and any change we make can create ripples in the pond that we never counted on. We are building ourselves, our worlds in no uncertain terms. Meaning makers. Cake eaters. Shoe wearers.

Since buying my shoes, I’ve also bought clothes that reflect the same aspirations and desires that those shoes embodied. I now enjoy shopping with my wife and we have great fun.

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“So pleased with my new shirt…”

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I’ve started writing more and reading more and I’ve decided on a leaner, lighter physical aesthetic goal for myself. It’s helped me realise I don’t need as much physical strength and size to survive, that new varied sources of confidence and interest are available if I’m prepared to entertain change from the normal.

So start with the end in mind. “If I was already there, what might I be wearing?”

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