Riding the Wave

“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.”

Patrick Swayze-Bodhi-Point Break

“Our imaginations are incredible yet also where we idealise, fantasise and create worlds that very often don’t match our realities, what actually happens.  Trust yourself to walk towards your fears with courage, support and some deep breathing.”

This year I did three things that made me reflect deeply on how I do, or do not implicitly trust myself.  The first, I set up a fixed wheel on my bike.  Stop laughing, I haven’t grown a beard…..damn, ok, hipster confirmed.  All I heard was “don’t do it, you can’t control it, it’s a pain if you’re cycling with kids (I have two), you get the idea.  Well, my daughter and I got knocked off our bikes two weeks ago, maybe I’ll talk about this in another blog, and my wheel got bent, so I went fixie.  I love it.  More control, more skill, more fitness.

“Want one?  GO AND GET ONE.”

Second.  For ten years I’ve wanted a Rancilio Silvia, the legendary home coffee machine that the internet raves about.  “Don’t get it, it’s fiddly, it’s hard to master, it’s overpriced, the grinders not good.”  I got it this week.  It’s awesome.  I’m wired.  It’s a new learning curve, a new hobby, my wife loves it. Win, win, win, for the win.

“Every day, a glass of celebratory winning.”

Third.  I’ve wanted to do psychotherapy training for a number of years now.  I got a place to do it seven years ago. I didn’t do it. “It’s too expensive.  60% of marriages split up during the training (four years, pretty gruelling), you miss weekends at home here and there.”  I’ve started.  Feels incredible, I’m released and stimulated in ways I haven’t imagined were available to me, perhaps I thought never would be.

So what was the shift?  Why now?  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been active, run my own business for twenty years coaching people and I love it.  Well I’ll share the why.  Last year I had a severe depression.  I’m not describing the why, there are reasons and there aren’t any, however it did happen and I had a fight on my hands, a big long nasty fight, where I had to learn some new, deep things about myself, and I fought with the help and love of family and friends, professionals and a heap of acceptance.  It opened me up.

These three new interests, varying in style and scope, represent something enormous for me and I hope you can ally this with experiences in your own.  Our time is precious.  Our relationships are precious.  Our breath is precious.  The view we have that we take for granted and lose interest in is precious beyond measure, yet life dries up sometimes.  We lose meaning.  Our interests aren’t just interests, they’re rebellions, they’re overthrows, they’re secret missions to keep creating life, meaning, pleasure and comfort.  Go and do what you want.

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