Relapse

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” Japanese Proverb.

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The word relapse is not motivational. The title of my blog is not motivational. I could make a play on “re-lapping” but I won’t. I’d also like to make clear that in this instance I am not referring to addictions, although relapse is very relevant in that context.

However, a cheeky thing happens when we examine what is culturally shunned, things like failure, relapse, performing badly and “letting ourselves down.” Awareness allows us to break free of some bonds and see what’s going on.

So, we have set out a plan, we’ve been consistent in our efforts, hit the gym, the park, we’ve pushed little kids out of the way to do our muscle-ups on the swings, we’ve been unstoppable and we’ve been enamoured with our results. Or, we’ve been tentatively “good” on our eating plan, and then it happens. Life kicks us in the butt. We regress to where we felt we were like a cruel game of snakes and ladders…enter our inner critic.

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“Off you hop, the lot of you…”

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“Develop your hit the fan plan, man.”

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So what’s going on? There are a few things and I’ll list them:

Firstly, our expectations of a non-stop, linear progression aren’t realistic. Probability and chaos impact all areas of life, we simply can’t control all the variables, thankfully, as I wouldn’t want that job…

Secondly, we haven’t included setback, flexibility or relapse in our worldview, into our plans. We haven’t organised a “project minimum, if it hits the fan plan.” It’s GOING to happen, it ALWAYS happens that our plans do not agree with reality, some of the time.

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Thirdly, we haven’t noted the difference between TACTICS, STRATEGY and VISION. Don’t baulk at these terms, we do them anyway and I’m not suggesting we all start sounding like business gurus.

• Our VISION is the finished ideal of what we want. “I want to look and feel awesome.”
• Our STRATEGY is what we implement to get towards the vision. “I’m doing underwater goat wrestling three times a week and eating only plants.”
• Our TACTICS are how we adjust nuances, timing and attitude to best keep the strategy going.
• STRATEGY and TACTICS get confused. Just because you cant do the ideal version of your vision or strategy, doesn’t mean you can’t change tactics to keep headed true North.

THIS IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH A RELAPSE

• When the wheels fall off the bus, when the doodoo hits the fan, when all hell breaks loose, or when you simply can’t be bothered, you get a shot at learning from relapse.
• SOMETHING has been unsustainable for you.
• SOMETHING needs addressing, maybe the spread of interests you have.
• SOMETHING needs implementing (tactics) that best serves the strategy and best serves the VISION.

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“Best serves” might be pizza and a week off. It might mean “battening down the hatches” and going for it even harder to see what you’ve got.

It may mean reconsidering the initial motivation you had in the first place. In a nutshell my friends, relapse is review time. Relapse, in these contexts, is like that annoying yet true friend who pops up and says “this ain’t going to last, take a look at yourself in the mirror.” They’re annoying because we know they’re right. They’re still not coming to dinner though.

There are MANY MANY ways we can approach our goals and dreams, use the experience of relapse, to review, reconsider and reappraise your approach and situation. Then get back on the track and “re-lap.”

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“Pizza needs to factor somewhere, for sure.”

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